A Layman’s Guide To A One Night Stand

701-B1A03-7E013XXLEvery guy has his reasons for looking at securing a one night, no strings hook-up. Let’s be straight up here, perhaps you’re out of town and away from a significant other? Maybe you’re just too busy to be able to facilitate any kind of long term relationship due to work or other essential commitments? Or you’re in the 1% – a Player – making the best of life and just wanting to add a few more notches to the bed post. Regardless, here follows a quick tour of essential how-to and no-no’s of securing a one night hitch.

You Must Impress
I doubt the great man would agree, but if there’s one thing that the Buddha taught folks out to get laid it is this – ‘live in the moment’. You will have limited time and need to impress from the sheer moment that you approach a potential suitor. Wipe that brow, straighten the shirt (I’m assuming your outfit matches…) and above anything else smile naturally as you approach.

Breaking the Ice
Still got that smile on? Good – now drop it once you have approached the potential. It doesn’t matter if you’re a strapping QB or a goofing Redditor, being able to be aware of your body language – especially facial expressions – is essential in securing a one night stand. It must be reactive – warm smiles at good chat, and even self deprecating if need’s be – the only goal is to maintain conversation. The approach itself must be as casual as possible and avoid clichés or undue compliments. If you approach and expect a knock-back, you’ll likely be surprised providing you get the basics right.

Half an Hour In
Conversation ought to be going pretty well, providing the following rules are followed:

* Do not talk about your career/earnings

* Ask ‘soft’ questions wherever possible, and react positive to engage reaction

* Never mention relationships. If questioned, that’s your own call.

* If chat stumbles or goes silent, use an accessory to stimulate – example: offer a drink, ask about theirs.

* Remember it’s all situational. Few people go out explicitly wanting to get laid, but for most it’s a bonus.

* No is no. If you get a cold shoulder, accept it and move on – perhaps another day.

Time to Go?
This is the step if things have gone well enough to get a kiss or six. If it hasn’t gone that well so far, at least offer a number (it may help future conquests) and move on.

Always go to their pad, if it’s possible, or get a hotel room. This cannot be stressed enough, after all if you’re into the one-night scene the last thing you need is for them to know where you live/stay or whatever. Just go with the flow, use their cab company and gracefully accept any invitation. This may stem from holding a bag to pouring a coffee – just use instinct and be a perfectly nice and sound person. Played well, and you’re away.

Provided you didn’t offer anything stupid to get to this stage (marriage, money etc.) now’s not just the time to retreat, but also to decide if you’d like to repeat. It’s circumstantial but a long term casual hook-up can be the best option for some, yet many will just want to conclude the arrangement – both are understandable.

Don’t follow the fantastical idea of just walking out with a slice of toast in hand. Be nice, courteous and see what happens. If you’ve no interest in the person, the utter key is to get them out as soon as possible but do so together. Laugh at the previous evenings excesses and if needed exchange numbers. Use a fake if you must.